Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Where the hell did I go?

Tonight I came to a pivotal truth about me....I've gone missing.
Not all of me. Just fragments really. So it's time to backtrack to see what I dropped and where.
So like following a treasure hunt map...off I go.
I guess the first part of solving the mystery at hand is figuring out what is missing to begin with.
My sense of calm. Ya know that quiet insideness that says "all is well"?
Gone.
My sense of humor. I have a kick ass sense of humor...the giggles are missing.
Gone.
My confidence level in my personhood has somewhat slipped. That thing that you know you're dead on balls accurate in being who you are???
Gone.
So I think it has a lot to do with me being so OVERLY concerned about other peoples feelings that I become out of touch with my own. Co-dependent to the max I am.
I have to shift things back quick before I am lost in this forest of GONE another day longer.
Plan of action? Not a clue other than to unplug!!! If I know anything about anything...it's that I am me and I really really like me. But I don't like the me that can become that insane disconnected talking head! Eewww!!
Tonight will end by me going to sleep maybe just a little pissed off and more determined than ever to follow the breadcrumbs out of the forest and back to the land of MY living!