Where the hell did I go?

Tonight I came to a pivotal truth about me....I've gone missing.
Not all of me. Just fragments really. So it's time to backtrack to see what I dropped and where.
So like following a treasure hunt map...off I go.
I guess the first part of solving the mystery at hand is figuring out what is missing to begin with.
My sense of calm. Ya know that quiet insideness that says "all is well"?
Gone.
My sense of humor. I have a kick ass sense of humor...the giggles are missing.
Gone.
My confidence level in my personhood has somewhat slipped. That thing that you know you're dead on balls accurate in being who you are???
Gone.
So I think it has a lot to do with me being so OVERLY concerned about other peoples feelings that I become out of touch with my own. Co-dependent to the max I am.
I have to shift things back quick before I am lost in this forest of GONE another day longer.
Plan of action? Not a clue other than to unplug!!! If I know anything about anything...it's that I am me and I really really like me. But I don't like the me that can become that insane disconnected talking head! Eewww!!
Tonight will end by me going to sleep maybe just a little pissed off and more determined than ever to follow the breadcrumbs out of the forest and back to the land of MY living!

2012

My resolution is short and sweet...To Thine Own Self Be TRUE! Authenticity and nothing less. GodSpeed.

So....a lot has changed

I am engaged to a wonderful man. In my 2nd year of sobriety. I now have 3 grand babies....still do not have contact other than rare texts with my daughter. But my God is working it out. The promises of AA always materialize if we work for them....and work for them I will! One day at a time!!

For My Missing Grandson.....Where are you Joey?

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Dena

Last night my friend Dena lost the battle that she raged against lung cancer.

I pray for peace for her family and her husband.

Rest peaceful dear friend. I will see you in Heaven....

Behind The Blindfold

What is it that would make a beautiful young lady compromise herself by attaching herself to someone who everyone knows is no good? A liar. A sluggard. A felon.

What is it that would cause someone to continuously walk in denial?

What is it that would allow the systematic isolation on a loved one from the family that loves them?

What is it?

Love? Infatuation? Drugs? Lonliness?

She is someones daughter. She is someones grand-daughter. She is someones mommy.

To My Grandbaby...

I just want you to know little guy that "Mimi" is here. I am praying for you and your mommy. I know that you must be sad and scared and confused at the way things are right now....but if I could tell you one thing and have it sink deep into your little 2 1/2 year old heart....it's that "Jesus Loves You" and He will make all things right in His time.

I am fighting to protect you and get you safe.

Love,

Mimi