My Fathers day gifts of years past included Valentino perfume, Calvin Kline perfume, bras, always a special dinner and homemade cards, and this year I was taken to the Renaissance Festival at a local winery. It was a really fun day. Hot. Really HOT!! Zech did archery and ogled the big breasted wenches (what else would a 17 yr old boy do?), and Bekkah shopped and bought some trinkets. We ate smoked turkey legs like heathens and wore flower wreathes in our hair.
Such a bittersweet day for my family.
Bittersweet for me because I have spent the last 8 years of my life as a single mom. I have watched my children grow into good people. I have seen them transition from children to adults. I have held them while the cried over Absent Dad. I have wiped the tears when it was the daddy that they wanted and worse yet, that they needed. I have listened to the harsh words, rightfully spoken about a father that just isn’t there for them. They are pissed that Absent Dad has chosen to remarry and raise another women’s children while Absent Dad has children that need and want him. I have watched this wound become an ulcerated sore to their hearts.
In all of my experiences that stand out for this Father’s Day tradition is when we were walking into church this Sunday as a group and I told the associate pastor “Happy Father’s Day” and he smiled and thanked me. Then as eloquently as Bekkah can be, she turns to me and says “Mom, Happy Father’s Day”. Associate Pastor looked surprised, then he smiled warmly. Acknowledging what that simple phrase really meant to me.
So my friends….if you know a single mom. Just simply acknowledge that the life and burden that they carry is indeed a hard cross to bear. It doesn’t sound like much, but I for one believe and live by the belief that words are one of the most powerful things that exist.
Honor those moms out there. And honor those single dads out there too on Mother’s Day. It isn’t easy to be both parents. And the wise ones of us who walk this road, realize that we can’t be both parents. But it sure is sweet to be honored for our efforts and for our hearts for our children living with Absent Parents.