It is a way that we further abuse ourselves. We are locked in guilt and shame.
The cornerstone of my healing from that abuse came when I was able to "rescue" my little girl from the hands of my abuser. I did this by first coming to the realization that a 4 year old little girl IS lovable. IS trusting. IS cute. IS innocent. She wants the touch of a daddy. A parent. She craves love...we were created this way. And when I started to notice other 4 year olds around me and how so very small and trusting they were. I started to see reality in a different way. I was able to embrace the wounded little girl still trapped in the cycle of abuse instead of blame her. I was able to set her free so healing, true, deep, wounded soul healing could begin.