*Promptly*

Promptly is defined as:

1. Being on time; punctual.
2. Carried out or performed without delay.

Step 10 says: We continued to take a personal inventory

and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I don't like this word. Promptly. And it has become very clear of late that I don't act promptly. I REACT promptly. But I don't ACT promptly. Given all the conflict and amends that I have been wading through lately I have come face to face with the fact that I would rather wait it out. Let it slide. Hide behind the slogan "live and let live" or "this too shall pass". I bury my little turtle head in the sand and hope that it will all go away. It doesn't of course. It festers and stirs and blocks my way eventually with bitterness and resentment.

It is a cowards way of dealing with conflict. Conflict with me usually arrives when my feelings get hurt or bruised. And the way I see it is that if I PROMPTLY get honest with my feelings then the conflict if any will be minimal. It can be worked out quickly. And the clean up may only require a paper towel rather than a demolition team.

So this season of conflict and resolution that seems to have engulfed me is for my benefit like it or not. If I am to mature and keep growing not only in my recovery but in my walk with the Master...then I must be able to resolve issues right away. With a minimum of fear. I can't help but to think about all the time and energy of my life that has been wasted on running from healing even while seeking it at the same time.

From what I have learned from this season is that I need to get real. Get honest. Get quick about it. And get brave with me. And take hold of resolution so that I can be free to move into the next season.

Promptly. I still don't like this word. But the definition is becoming very clear and purposeful to me today.