Who Does She Think She Is??

Kathy my friend with the carnival in her head wrote a magnificent post about women and the bondage that we fall under and into. Go here http://kathyescobar.com/2008/08/22/who-does-she-think-she-is/ to read this. It is a must read. And please follow her links to "SHE" and "Who Does She Think She Is?"..... just amazing what women are doing. Young and old women. Risking. Stepping out of the norm.

One of the things that I have written so much about lately is my level of fear and all the changes and shifts that keep occuring in my life. Sometimes all I can do is whisper 'Father be with me' and He is there. Desparate heart and mind scream inside of me...seeking hands reaching....wanting Him to just hold me...to make it ok. To make me safe.

After reading Kathy's post I came away empowered. I remembered that I am ok to be afraid. But I am also OK to risk. Risk always involves an element of fear. Always. Stepping out. Change is scary.

Erin (decompressing faith) and Pam (how god messed up my religeon) (you can follow the links at my sidebar to thier blogs. I haven't quite figured out how to link here yet so follow the links provided. Anyway Erin and Pam did the poem below and it is also posted on Kathy's post but it is worthy so worthy of posting here as well. The poem describes my TARA on the inside. I hope it touches you as much as it touches me. It's all about the risk.

the sinful woman at simon the pharisees house luke 7:36-50
she busted through the door

fell at this feet

desperate, searching, certain that He’d

give her something she craved.

peace. understanding. hope.

they scoffed. how could she?

how could He?

her type’s not welcome here.

this gathering, it’s for the together,the smart, the boys, the elite.

welcome or not, she knew she

had to get there.

to His feet.

to lay before Him

and offer her tears, her heart,

her thanks.

the sweet smell of perfume mixed with

her tears

filled the courtyard.

and the bystanders gaped.

you can’t do that. we’re talking

theology here

and you want to weep,

to fall all over yourself?

yes, He affirms. she gets it.

this is the theology He’s talking about.

she understands.

believes.

accepts.

doesn’t care if she’s misunderstood.

she knows He forgives.

He loves. He believes in her when

nobody else does.

and because of her past, all the mistakes,

raw and real.

because of her desperation,

her unwillingness to hide or pretend

because of her humility,her openness to healing.

she receives.

may i be like her,

unhindered byhuman-created norms,

breaking the rules.

causing heads to turn.

risking my pride.

seeking Truth,

willing to find Him at all costs.

- spring 2007